Dr. Brenda Watts had always been a woman of ambition. Raised in the heart of San Diego, she charted a path many only dreamed of – earning degrees from Stanford University, Columbia University, and the University of California San Diego. After getting into Stanford University, it was time for her to leave her family and life behind in San Diego. She explains, “I was finally starting my life and beginning my dream of becoming a doctor. It was one of the most exciting, yet scariest moments I have ever experienced. It was my first time away from home and away from my family. Even though I was still in California, it wasn’t a short drive away from home, so I was really nervous.” Her journey into medicine had been rigorous, marked by sleepless nights, thousands of hours in study halls and hospitals, and a student loan debt that loomed like an ever-present shadow. After graduating from Stanford and earning her bachelor’s degree in human biology, Watts decided to continue her education. She returned home to the University of California San Diego, where she further studied medicine and graduated another four years later. After eight long and hard working years of school, she finally earned a job as a physician at Venice Family Clinic in Venice, California. She worked hard in a difficult and expensive Los Angeles lifestyle for four years, where she decided to further her education even more. This time, Watts decided to travel to the other side of the country and attend Columbia University. She states, “It was a difficult decision to return to school. I lived a great life in Los Angeles, but I wanted even more!” She finished a single year of school and decided to stay in New York.
For the next three years, Watts lived in New York City in the heart of Lower Manhattan as a Primary Care Physician at Project Renewal. She lived her dream. “It felt like nothing could stop me. I wanted more though. I enjoyed work so much and took so much pride in the people I was helping. That’s why I became a doctor. I wanted to help people and their health. I was making it happen. But I always questioned myself and thought ‘what about my health?’ I sometimes wondered if I was taking care of myself.” After taking a mental step back and evaluating her life, Watts decided it was time to tap into her love life and search for romance. She began using dating apps and found a man from New York. That man was Bill Watts, who then became her boyfriend.
After living in New York for so long, Watts decided it was time to return home and start a family. Brenda and Bill moved to San Diego together and got married. She got a job as an Internal Medicine Physician at the Family Health Centers of San Diego, and later worked the same position at the Sharp Hospital in La Mesa, California over seven years. She had completed all her personal goals by now. But despite her professional success, Watts was also a mother, wife, and daughter caught in the crossfire of familial obligations. With two young daughters – Olivia and Abigail – who saw her as their guiding light, and a husband who stood by her side through every challenge, Watts struggled to find a balance between her career and her family. She claims, “It was stressful. But this is what I wanted and asked for. I always wanted to become a doctor. I became a doctor. I always wanted to become a wife and mother of my own family. I did that too. It was just tiring sometimes. But I still loved it and don’t regret anything.” Adding to the complexity, she owned three homes, one of which she rented as an Airbnb for extra income, a small cushion against the financial burden of her student loans.
Yet, beneath the surface of her well-orchestrated life was a heart-wrenching reality: her mother, once the cornerstone of her childhood, no longer remembered her. Diagnosed with dementia, she lived in the house where Watts had grown up, watched over by Watts’ father – a man who refused to leave her mother’s side despite the emotional and physical toll, along with her two younger sisters May and Darlene. This was one of the biggest concerns in Watts’ life. Her mother no longer remembered her or any of her family members. Watts tried to step inasmuch as possible and constantly led a helping hand. He took time off to watch her mother, gave her baths and fed her. She states, “I love my mom so much. Even though she does not remember any of us, she raised me and made me the woman I am today. I will do everything in my power to return that favor.” Caregiving was a lifestyle in itself. Her mother’s illness took a huge toll on everyone’s lives in Watts’ family.
The strain of balancing her personal and professional lives began to take its toll. Watts worked tirelessly in the hospital, seeing patient after patient, making split-second decisions that meant the difference between life and death. And yet, at the end of the day, her mind was still occupied with the struggles at home. The exorbitant costs of child care, student loan payments that drained her finances, and the guilt of not being present for her children weighed heavily on her.
Her nanny had been a godsend, taking care of Olivia and Abigail, while Watts worked long shifts at the hospital. But the guilt was relentless. Watts longed to be the one reading bedtime stories, making school lunches, and kissing scraped knees. After months of internal conflict, she made a bold decision: she would reduce her work schedule, cutting her hospital days down to three per week. It meant a small financial setback, but it also meant she could be there for her daughters more. It was a sacrifice, but one she was willing to make. She states, “I had to do that for my family. Work is work, and money comes and goes. What is more important to me is spending time with my family and actually taking the time to raise my daughters.
As she began adjusting to her new schedule, a different worry consumed her: her mother’s condition was deteriorating. Watts had always looked up to her mother – a strong woman who had raised her with resilience and love. Now, every visit was a painful reminder that those memories were slipping away, replaced by confusion and blank stares. Her father, exhausted and emotionally drained, clung to the past, refusing to acknowledge the full extent of his wife’s illness. Watts knew she needed to step in, but how could she be in so many places simultaneously?
One evening, after a particularly grueling shift at the hospital, Watts drove straight to her childhood home. She found her father in the kitchen, his head resting in his hands. Her mother sat in the living room, staring out the window, a blank expression on her face. Watts knelt beside her, taking her frail hands in her own and holding them. She said, “Mom, it’s me, Brenda,” she said softly. But there was no recognition in her mother’s eyes. Tears began to fall from her face as the weight of reality crashed down on her. She realized then that she had been holding onto a hope that no longer existed. Her mother was slipping away, and no amount of medical knowledge or professional experience could change that. Dementia affects the brain’s cognitive functions, including memory, thinking, language, and problem-solving. It is a form of Alzheimer’s, and there is no cure for it.
That night, Watts made another difficult decision: she would hire a full-time caregiver. It wasn’t just about easing her father’s burden anymore – it was about ensuring her mother had the dignity and care she deserved in her final years. It was one more financial strain, but some things were worth more than money. She claims, “That was a difficult decision for me to make. My dad is so stubborn, yet prideful, and I respect him because of that. He wanted to take care of her alone, since that is his wife. He did not want any help from nonfamily members. But we needed help from a professional. It was a decision that needed to be made.
Watts’ new reality set in. She spent three days a week on weekdays with Olivia and Abigail, savoring the simple moments – baking cookies, helping with homework, and tucking them in at night. On the days she worked, the nanny took over. While Watts still felt a pain of guilt, she knew she had made the right choice. Her daughters needed her, and she needed them just as much.
Her father, initially resistant to the idea of a caregiver, eventually softened. With someone to help manage the daily tasks of caring for his wife, he could focus on simply being there for her, holding onto the love they had built over decades. She explains, “My dad still helps out in as many ways as possible. He is getting older too, so some of the responsibilities are a bit difficult for him. But he walks with her every morning through their neighborhood, cooks for her everyday, and drives her alongside himself to their occasional grocery runs.”
Financially, things were tighter than ever, but not super difficult because of the amount of insane income Watts makes. Student loan payments continued to plague her account, and the reduced income from fewer work days meant she had to be more strategic. The Airbnb provided some relief, though managing it was yet another task on her already full plate. Watts always made more than a comfortable amount of money, and above the average. I mean how many average people make six figures and own three properties?
Despite the hardships, Watts found a new sense of peace. She had always believed professional achievement measured success, but now she saw it differently. Success was being there for her daughters when they needed her most. It was insuring her mother had the care she deserved. It was allowing her father to breathe, to step away from the overwhelming responsibility of caregiving, and just be a husband again. It was being an amazing doctor, helping those in need. Caring for their health and saving lives was important to her.
Watts’ life was far from perfect – there were still bills to pay, long shifts at the hospital, and moments of doubt. But in the end, she was not just a doctor, mother, or daughter. She was a woman who had learned the delicate art of balancing love, sacrifice, and responsibility. And in that balance, she found her true strength.
